Saturday, May 5, 2012

Voices Demons play keep-away with cellphone

Today, the Voices Demons played "keep-away" with my cellphone. They transported from pocket-to-pocket in my coat, and then in my laptop bag. When I finally caught it, it was in mid-rematerialization.

Prior to dematerialization, the phone emits a soft, dim flash of blue light, and feels like it is spinning, even though it isn't. When it is finished rematerializing, the spinning sensation on your hand stops.

For some reason, my cellphone has been an object of obsession for the Voices Demons, who have repeatedly altered, hacked, hidden and otherwise interfered with its use and operation on a constant basis for over nine months; now, they constantly complain when I manage my to-do list, calendar an event, or use it to streamline my media-publication workflow, and, in particular, automatic uploads of newly acquired photos and videos of demonic activity to multiple online storage servers.

Huawei (pronounced "wah-way") Ascend M860 ($139)

This comes in very handy in situations where you aren't able to backup any given video manually, say, in such as times as when you catch on video the Spectre of Death breaking-and-entering into your apartment, and then swooping up your cellphone into his bony grip, but are sleeping through the whole thing (even though you've only been recording for nine minutes) as happened to me in this video:
Unfortunately, this inexpensive phone is as vulnerable as it is convenient, in that it is easy for demons to interfere with. For example, by simply placing a hand on its touchscreen, a cloaked demon can cause immediate malfunction in a cellphone, an effect that is due not only to the nature of the cloak, but by merit of the bioelecticrochemical properties of a demon's makeup.

In order to repair damage to the phone's software caused by the demons, I eventually learned how to manually restore the phone to the manufacturer's specifications in an instant, so that I can recover from demonic interference without missing a single step.